Is he an apologist or a calculated
apologizer? Did he really kick the crap out of a senator twice his weight in a boxing match or was it all staged?
The recipient will probably already know, but it's nice to know the
apologizer knows, too.
A dilemma arises because, where the law offers no protection, such an apology has the potential to be used as an admission by the apologizee to help prove liability against the
apologizer. (37) One need not be a sociologist armed with endless data to foresee the potential pitfalls of this approach.
Such "superfluous apologies," or "expressions of regret for an undesirable circumstance that is clearly outside of one's control," communicates that the
apologizer "has taken the victim's perspective, acknowledges adversity and expresses regret."
Much might depend on who offers the apology and what his or her motivation is discerned to be, the degree of authority the
apologizer is perceived to have as a spokesperson for Christians, many personal characteristics of those viewing the apology (such as their empathy for the
apologizer), and situational factors that might make the issue more or less salient at the time of the apology.
As such apologies are not admissions of guilt, they would not directly imply that an ambiguous incident should be identified or categorized as a wound inflicted by the
apologizer. They would, however, serve one of the functions of apologies already noted: a signal of concern about other people's feelings and of the value that the
apologizer placed on his or her relationship with those people.
Steeped in the language of the business world that many men are already familiar with, Field Bolek says being an effective
apologizer requires that you first be a positive, effective leader.
Benjamin Ho offers a more prosaic explanation--a mathematical formula suggesting that it is rational for an actor to accept an apology to the extent that it "acts as a signal of the
apologizer's fitness for future interaction." Benjamin Ho, Apologies as Signals: With Evidence from a Trust Game 39 (Cornell Univ., Johnson Sch.
(6) For a discussion of the ways in which the Harper apology for residential schooling constructs Aboriginal families in the language of psychological "deviance," see Eva Mackey, "The
Apologizer's Apology," in Reconciling Canada: Critical Perspectives on the Culture of Redress, eds.
To the offender this step may seem as obvious as the offense itself and therefore it may be tempting to just get through the apology or "get on with it." But more often than not, skipping the recognition step results in a statement that just compounds the offense because it leaves the victim uncertain whether the
apologizer understands why the victim is so upset.