I noticed that a shinily
refurbished Gateshead school has got a flight of stairs so high, pupils are allowed to go up it, but not down it.
We're also loving Amelia Bullmore (Head of Sustainability), waffling meaninglessly about how "Sustainability is not legacy", as well as Jessica Hynes's shinily
robotic Head of Brand and Karl Theobald's panic-stricken Head of Infrastructure.
I know that teachers reading this will be laughing hollowly or even throwing up at the sound of my starry-eyed idealism compared with the gnashing reality that they know so well - just as I now chortle cruelly when I hear trainee teachers shinily
announcing their intention to change the world.