Here's a better idea, matey - find out where Tony lives, get the idiot woman who humiliated him to take it round and make her apologise for being such a smartarse
Bank of England boss Mark Carney has scrapped a mortgage aid scheme saying it was "no longer necessary as most people are getting on the housing ladder".
goalkeeper gets lesson - you can put your oppo offwhen taking a peno.
I've decided against the classic smartarse
answer - "Don't eat yellow snow" - this year, though.
I don't know which smartarse
organised the 'care in the community' work placement undertaken by your slightly aristocratic correspondent, but I suspect dark dealings from Darling Alistair after I set him up with those B-list supermarket execs at that fatuous price summit last week.
The guide to England, launched today, said: 'Derided and dismissed for decades as a city full of smartarse
scallies who would as soon nick your car as tell you a joke, Liverpool has done a wonderful job of dispelling this largely ridiculous reputation and is eager to arrive as the belle of the ball in 2008, when the city will be the European Capital of Culture.
And when some pinstripe smartarse
waves a disclaimer sign in your face, you can tell him it's not worth the card it's printed on.
I dare not speak my mind for fear of extreme mockery from some smartarse
like me, of course.
And because glass is see-through (or 'transparent' as those smartarse
scientists call it) the chances of you bumping into stuff in the first place would increase dramatically.
They were afraid that some smartarse
photographer had bought a BFMC (button fly mini camera) and were going to send pictures of the lads' private parts around the world.
Here we are in the middle of one of the busiest months of sport in history (and if you don't believe me, name one meaningful sport that isn't active right now) and the vast majority of TV presenters, commentators and pundits are giving those of us who like to write smartarse
, pithy pieces criticising them a problem by starving us of material.
He's got a new suit, a new haircut, and a smartarse
Advice to smartarse
journalists who want to slag off broadcasters for using too many cliches: people in glasshouses shouldn't throw stones.