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While you're at it, bring back milk in glass bottles, three-wheeled cars and cobbled streets to drive them down, inventors in sheds, rotary-dial telephones, shops with ashtrays, travel agents, insurance brokers, Vesta "instant" beef curry and chicken chow mein, and household showers with all the water pressure of a middle-aged midnight piddler.
A self-described piddler, Haydel always has a project going around the house, or a new hobby, usually dedicated to the outdoors.
I get down on my hands and knees, avoiding the damp patches, to search for keys by which time the piddler and his pals have recognised me and out come all the cameras into which I am supposed to smile.