The luscious Kelly has indeed Got Talent for wearing swimsuits but sadly not for anything involving more than two syllables and an autocue
. As Simon Cowell himself might say: "Stick to the day job, honey."
``I kid you not, I would never use the autocue
after that,'' he recalls of his darkest moment on That Was The Week That Was.
She lost it when she joined ITV in a multi-million-pound deal which entailed getting chauffered to a studio couch, five days a week, reading an autocue
and being bubbly for a few hours.
To be paid millions simply for reading from an autocue
, grinning, nodding at the camera, and interupting guests, is obscene to say the least.
IT'S YOUR SONG ELTON: Lyrics on the screen prompt CANDLE IN THE WINDOW BOX: Autocue
in flowers alongside his piano I'M STILL STANDING: Sir Elton on his feet and gazing down at autocue
SO were you thrilled and amazed when David Cameron delivered a speech with just a few notes and no autocue
Thankfully he has team captains Phill Jupitus and Julian Clary to fall back on if the autocue
sticks or a one-liner is needed.
First he screamed at the autocue
guys for their terrible spelling, then he kicked everyone off the set while he and GaGa perfected their act.
She was unable to continue as her autocue
Bruce, 80, also hit out at claims he was too "doddery" to read an autocue
with more than three words per line.
So can we assume very glamorous, very young - but very non-journalist - Natasha Kaplinsky, currently being paid goodness knows how much for reading words off an autocue
, will be sacked in the same shoddy way Moira was?
Sir Tel has had a pop at the puffed-up autocue
addicts who read out loud for a living.