The stout copper cursed the bratlings
, and became stuck in the fence in his attempts to collar them.
Vaunted and vilified by the red-tops of which he is both the creature and the sustainer, the England captain has become the obverse of everything we once set him up to be: a moral paragon tainted by the whiff of adultery; a clean-cut role-model whose looks have been irrevocably marred by the tattooist's needle; a doting father whose paternal excesses could hardly be better calculated to produce overindulged bratlings
; a performance athlete whose skill with a ball - once undeniably remarkable - has been visibly superseded by that of his younger rivals.
Under the Fitessa banner are items like cauliflower cheese medallions, leaf spinach bratlings
, broccoli torts and pockets and leek cuts (whole wheat or polenta).