Most bagels hover around 300 calories, though each two-tablespoon shmear
of cream cheese tacks on another 100.
But note, the "free" bagel and shmear
is free only with a purchase, so maybe plan on getting a coffee or juice as well.
A brioche ($3) comes sliced in half lengthwise, with a thick shmear
of cream filling the space in between.
The jokes vary: Some reference questionable local customs (like rolling through the nearly back-to-back stop signs in residential Beverly Hills), others spin current events (clarifying that Matisyahu the musician had shaved his beard, not Rabbi Matisyahu Salomon), while still others contain irreverent puns based on obscure bits of Hebrew vocabulary or Jewish law (like changing Shir HaMaalot, a "song of the steps," to Shmear
HaMaalot, a cream cheese that's a step above the rest).
One of the reasons it's so expensive is because you have to shmear
(pay others) all the time," he was quoted on tape as saying.
It feels like everything's going on here: incredible activist work by local organizations and communities, a staggering amount of music-making and cultural work, not to mention an unbeatable bagel with shmear
As she revealed in a 1999 column, Brody was herself raised on a high-carb, low-fat diet of "shredded wheat, oatmeal, challah, Jewish rye, and bagels," the latter presumably unblemished by the customary shmear
of cream cheese.
The problem is that margins are as thin as a shmear
of cream cheese, and supermarket bakeries are turning out batches daily and undercutting traditional bagel bakers on price.
Isn't it amazing what a shmear
of tomato sauce can do?