Obviously, in my role as a professional smartarse
I am duty bound to suggest they should just try watching back the full three hours of their coverage of last Friday's royal wedding.
Here's a better idea, matey - find out where Tony lives, get the idiot woman who humiliated him to take it round and make her apologise for being such a smartarse
Bank of England boss Mark Carney has scrapped a mortgage aid scheme saying it was "no longer necessary as most people are getting on the housing ladder".
Besides their bickering, Johnson also called England's star batsman Kevin Pietersen a 'smartarse
', while England wicket keeper Matt Prior effectively challenged Australian fast bowler Peter Siddle to a fight.
goalkeeper gets lesson - you can put your oppo offwhen taking a peno...
I've decided against the classic smartarse
answer - "Don't eat yellow snow" - this year, though.
The guide to England, launched today, said: 'Derided and dismissed for decades as a city full of smartarse
scallies who would as soon nick your car as tell you a joke, Liverpool has done a wonderful job of dispelling this largely ridiculous reputation and is eager to arrive as the belle of the ball in 2008, when the city will be the European Capital of Culture.'
And when some pinstripe smartarse
waves a disclaimer sign in your face, you can tell him it's not worth the card it's printed on.
At the beginning we are introduced to the six principal characters: Bill (19), a natural academic; Gordon (22) the eldest, battle-tested; Eddie (20), a natural smartarse
; Curley (20), good-natured though illiterate; David (21), well-educated, upper North Shore; Tom (19), the youngest and most gullible of the six.
I dare not speak my mind for fear of extreme mockery from some smartarse
like me, of course.
And because glass is see-through (or 'transparent' as those smartarse
scientists call it) the chances of you bumping into stuff in the first place would increase dramatically.