Buses - converted to burn oil from the camps' chip shops - will wheech
you energy efficiently and cheaply to enjoy the holiday of a lifetime.
Dancers in particular have to wheech
in and out of skimpy costumes with seconds to spare.
A girl at the next table comes up and says: "Hello, I read your column every week." She points at her man and adds: "He picked me up from work at 3.30 and hasn't even noticed he is wearing one brown shoe and one black shoe." We have a good laugh about that then I wheech
my camera out and take a photo of the shoes and the couple - Robert and Karen, above - who will be mortified to see this.
Run to the shops and get a shiny new tin - I feel like a two-timer as I open it and wheech
the contents into the dish - I hope the old tin can't hear me.
As recently as last week, I'm sure, there was still a second-day bread shop down there and a handful of hardware shops sell everything from teasmaids to those tall ashtrays that wheech
WHY WE WATCH IT'S obvious - as the professional partners of the celebs wheech
them round the floor at top speed, we really want to see a famous face fall flat on their backside.
At eight, we wheech
round to pals for supper and there we sit until 2.30am talking, eating and you can guess the rest.
Then you get the 'sniggerers', who go down to a well-stocked salmon pool armed with large weighted treble hooks to rip fish out; snarers, who use rabbit snares on poles to tail them out; and gangs of prawners, who descend on fly-only stretches and wheech
my jeans down just as I realise my mobile is still in my back pocket.
For 23.50 euros (pounds 16) for adults and 16.50 euros (pounds 11.20) for kids, you'll get to wheech
around the water slides but there is another cheeky charge of 7.50 euros (pounds 5.12) a head for use of a locker and a sun lounger.
And when you get bored with local wine, cheese, and sun- bronzed girls unzipping their clingy ski-suits, a little chair lift comes along to wheech
you off to another Alpine boozer to start all over again.
And there's a big rope that can hook on to you and wheech
you right out of the water they said they'd be on hand in a second if anything went wrong.